you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Terrible idea I love it
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
