let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
