Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
