if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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