we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
is that a dick in a sweater?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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