No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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