before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
