Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
