I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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