i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
