i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
