Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i think im in europe. pls send help
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
