Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
