I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
