you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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