I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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