Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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