Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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