I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Text me some of your sweat
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
