Define "chronic" masturbator.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
