yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
