I didn't shave. On purpose
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
