my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
