There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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