My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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