still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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