I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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