one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
