i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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