We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
