wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have aggressive nipples.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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