How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
