Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
