One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
