I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
