She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
