Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
false alarm. still invincible.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
