I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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