I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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