I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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