so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
