well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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