i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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