Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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