She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
