Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
