bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
