So drunk, too bad you don't want this
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
