is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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