Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
