Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
